This is my bio.  You probably already guessed that by the cheesy headshot picture to the left.  Relax, I know I look like a douche bag in it.  Anyway, this is the part where I tell how I have come from nothing to what I am today...nothing, just a little bit more funny.  Growing up as a youth in south central Compton, the streets were a way of life.  There was one rule that everybody lived by, kill or be killed.  At an early age I learned that in order to survive I had to make a choice - with a gun or with a mic.  At first, telling jokes to ruthless street gangsters was scary, but after a while I realized they are just like everybody else.  The Bloods seemed to like dick jokes, while the Crips were more into political humor.  Trust me, I was just as surprised as you are.  The "Thug" life was not an easy one but it was all I had.  I'm lying, but who cares??  I am more impressed with the fact that you are still reading this much of my bio.  With the exception of the Crips being into politics, I made the whole thing up.    Trust me it is more entertaining then the truth.  This next part is true so you may want to stop here before I crush your little fantasy world.  My name is Tony Pusateri, but on stage I go by Tony P, and the reason for that is because half of the world's population (the dumberer half) cannot pronounce my last name.  I don't see what the problem is, it's not like my last name is Poberechnik, Poustinchian, or Pydimukkala* (these are all real names by the way, I got them from - look it up!).  It's just Pusateri, but it always gets butchered so I do everyone a favor and go by Tony P.  Do I consider myself a hero? No, just someone who is trying to make the world a better place.

Growing up, I spent most of my days doing stupid things to make people laugh.  Some of it was funny and clever, some of it was dumb and embarrasing, but either way people laughed.  I went to College and earned a degree in Communications, but I spent most of my days having a good time.  I am one of those people who work to live, not live to work.  I feel that life moves pretty fast.  If you don't stop and look around once and awhile you could miss it.  OK, so I stole that from Ferris Bueller.  It's not like he is using it anymore, ever since he started making crappy movies and doing broadway!  The point is I graduated college so I am edgukated.  

When I graduated college I moved to the entertainment capital of the world - Las Vegas.  Turns out there is more going on in the desert then hookers and blackjack.  I have performed all over Sin City and some of my career highlights include spots on Conan, Letterman, and Jimmy Kimmel.  Alright, that was a lie, but hey it could happen.  Actually maybe I'm not lying, I guess it just depends on when you read this.  Anyway, I am currently doing shows throughout Las Vegas and the Southwest so if you get a chance come and see me.  Why miss out on an opportunity to say "I saw him before he made it big and became a total prick."  See, I'm just trying to help you out!  Odds are I will become a prick and definitely would not talk to or acknowledge you.  Can you blame me?  

*Please note that if your last name is Poberechnik, Poustinchian, or Pydimukkala, you need to get a new one.  

Update: After spending 10 years in Las Vegas, I have now moved back to Buffalo, NY, which if you didn't know, is the Lion in the jungle of Comedy.  You now have a choice to see me in 100 degree heat or -20 below, and everything in between.  I am officially nationwide so you have no excuse not to come check me out!!